Here we go again in Australia 🇦🇺😂😂😂😂😂😂😂😂

IN BREAKING NEWS:
It is not known whether Australian PM Scrote Moronson will be filmed today disguised as a bloated Easter bunny, but few would be surprised if he did. Editors note: Just a Pun on the Prime Ministers name 😂

Australia’s election campaign moved slowly into gear. One Liberal candidate compared her anti-trans campaign to those few brave souls who resisted the rise of German Nazism, going on to insist that half the men who claimed to have a trans identity were sex criminals.

Another candidate advertised herself as a lawyer when in fact she hasn’t practiced law for a decade. Nothing to see here, folks! 😂

The Prime Minister appeared in a variety of costumes at a series of workplaces, where he pretended to know what was going on and seemed to enjoy telling the workers how to do their jobs. His campaign was interrupted by a car-crash involving some of his security detail on a rural Tasmanian road. Mr. Moronson was understood to be furious that he hadn’t been informed until much later and thus missed out on the chance to be filmed dressed up as a paramedic.😂

Opposition leader Antonio Average plodded around a few campaign sites, dressed boringly in a suit and avoiding any questions involving numbers. Media bosses Murdoch, Stokes, Costello, and Buttrose agreed without any apparent collusion that not knowing how many jobless people Australia contained was a crime worse than blasphemy, even though one of the world’s peak economic bodies, the OECD, claims Australia’s official unemployment figures are nothing but a joke.😂

Pre-election surveys continue to insist Labor are favored, though rabid Sky News gurus and their handful of viewers appear not to have noticed. One briefly cheering note surfaced when a dependable SMH journo published his polling results which had PM Moronson well ahead. It turns out the man had asked three or four of his drinking mates and a passing stray dog for their views, which even by current polling standards is a bit suss.😂

In Queensland, a man who spent most of his last term as a Senator out of the country as he investigated the working conditions of Filipina bar-girls has switched parties to combine forces with a woman who’s already served time for electoral fraud. The snappy slogan PAULINE’S GOT YOUR BACK, GEORGE SAYS ‘ON YOUR BACK’ was briefly considered, then dismissed, when Pauline said she didn’t quite understand it. Though he has little chance of re-election, the man stands to collect a cool $100,000 in compensation under Australia’s bizarre electoral funding laws. Some feel this loophole should be closed ASAP, but since the people who might legislate such a change are the same people who stand to benefit by leaving things as they are, there’s as much chance of electoral reform as there is of the Pope dressing up as Ned Kelly on Good Friday.😂😂

In Europe, meanwhile, Russia’s oligarch-in-chief Vladimir Rasputin has continued his drive to liberate Ukraine by reducing its buildings and citizens to ashes. Western sanctions thus far appear to have little effect. One minor setback occurred when the flagship of Russia’s Black Sea fleet was severely damaged by shellfire. It is doubtful whether any Australian nuclear submarines or Harbour ferries were involved, though Mr. Moronson’s spin army is working overtime trying to claim some sort of credit. Australia’s generous donation of $27m. of surplus coal seems to have had little impact on Ukraine’s war effort. President Zelenskyy has respectfully declined the offer of spare Indue cards for his embattled citizens. Only another five weeks of this predictable scripted circus, then we can all go back to our jobs if we have one. Mr. Moronson’s concession speech should be a doozie 😁😁