▲ Intensity- Pathological people are very intense in the beginning. They call and text often. They compliment and love bombs. They want to seal the deal as soon as possible. They will go out of their way to make your friends and family like them and make a good impression. They will go to extraordinary lengths to win you over, and they want all of this to happen fast. Isolation- is a common tactic of abusers. They want you to get dependent on them, and they don’t want outside forces to influence you in any way.
▲ Criticism- Once they see that you have fallen for the love bombing, then they start the devalue stage. This is when they start to criticize your appearance, how you function and everything about you. When they see you are getting upset, they revert back to being nice again. They continue this cycle, of going back and forth between being cruel, and being nice, in order to get you addicted to them and to create a trauma bond.
▲ Jealousy- They have trust issues, and may accuse you of cheating, flirting or anything else that is threatening to them. They have bouts of anger and unreasonable demands about having other relationships outside your relationship with them, even if it is with the same sex friends or loved ones. They want all of your attention.
▲ Sabotage- They constantly sabotage things outside your relationship like work or other goals. They do things like make you late for work or not have important projects in on time. They may make you late by hiding your keys to the car, or anything else that would contribute to sabotaging your career, or not being able to keep your responsibilities.
A Blame- They start to blame you for everything that goes wrong in their life. They do it either overtly or in an insidious manner or manipulation. They try to make you feel guilty. You become responsible for everything that goes wrong, either in the relationship, or in their lives. You become the reason nothing is working out for them. This will contribute to you being in a constant state of confusion, and excessive guilt.
A Control- They become controlling of everything. They start to tell you how to dress, how to wear your hair, and how to act. They check your phone, emails, or social media accounts. They show up at your house unannounced and feel entitled to permeate and control every area of your life.
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