why

I wasn’t competent and allowed to feel; I kept my feelings down inside. I didn’t dare show signs of weakness

Though something inside me died, this pain had to go somewhere.

Trapped inside, it couldn’t get out

The pain that moved inside my body

I knew precisely what this was about,

Feelings that were never safe to feel,

Tears trapped behind the eyes.

The pain I carried all these years

It made me realise I couldn’t be who I was.

To be vulnerable, emotional, and accessible; I was told how to feel and revealed what was confirmed I was never allowed to be me.

Let the river of tears now flow.

Let the waves set me free

Allow me to handle them; it will enable me to heal.

Allow me to be me.

Now, finally, I permit myself.

I tell myself; It’s ok if you want to cry.

You’ll never have to hold it in

Or explain;

Why?