Secret lives

You were my secret once, a tiny seed of who you would become.

When I carried you, I couldn’t feel your body yet, but you already lived in my heart and deep within my dreams. You were completely mine then, and I knew I would love you through it all.

As you grew, my body held you close beneath my heart. I watched your legs dance and stretch my lined belly. I felt your tiny hiccups and marvelled at how it felt so alien yet entirely as it was meant to be.

Then, one day, you and I met for the first time. I held your little body, much smaller than I could comprehend, as you nuzzled your sweet face into my chest. Everything else in the world fell away. My heart expanded with my love for you, and I never wanted to let you go.

Since that day, I have watched you grow. I have held you through countless sleepless nights. I’ve carried you many miles—in my arms, on my shoulders, on my back, always in my heart, and in my dreams.

But I can feel the days slipping away. The nights when my lap is filled with your heavy sleeping body are decreasing. I sense the time is coming when I can’t carry you on my hip or snuggle up together, rocking into the night. I feel that part of our journey is ending.

However, I know that I will still carry you even when my arms are not strong enough to hold your growing body, and your independence takes you far from my empty lap.

I will hold you whenever you ask and embrace you whenever I can. I will keep memories of you close and carry my hopes for your future. I will hold all my love for you as it blossoms and grows daily in my heart and soul.

I will carry you in my mind and hold you within my soul as an extension of my very being. You are a part of me, and I am a part of you.

No matter how much time passes, how big you get, and where life takes either of us, you will always be my baby, and I will always be Mommy.

@peacewriter51